Hot Mess Mom Culture

Hot Mess Mom Culture: Are You Perpetuating It?

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Hot Mess Mom Culture
Time for tea

Hot Mess Mom Culture

Don’t fall victim to the hot mess mom culture. What do I mean by “hot mess mom culture”? You’ve probably seen it in timeline on Facebook or in your Instagram stories, “forgot my kids piano lesson, again”, “my kids ate cake for dinner”, “I forgot to get dressed before I left for the grocery store”. As these types of posts started to increase, I wondered, are these moms really a hot mess or are they pretending to be so they can “fit in”?

The Good Mom

You look around at your house and it’s clean, you made dinner from scratch and your kids are quietly folding laundry in the next room. You start to feel bad about yourself for not being a mess like the moms you see on social media. You decide not to post the picture of the beautiful cake you made for you daughter’s birthday because you don’t want to make other feel bad or you don’t want to be judged. It’s crazy to think you don’t feel comfortable sharing your parenting win.

Hot Mess Mom vs Pinterest Mom

Motherhood is a very complex animal. It can be messy one day and organized the next. It can be frustrating and filled with joy. It’s like a tug of war on our emotions. It’s not something that can easily be categorized as Pinterest mom vs hot mess mom. We all screw up but we all have victories too. We need to embrace the hot mess part of motherhood but also embrace the Pinterest mom part of our motherhood when they show up.

Let’s Celebrate

I have never understood why we need to pretend to be bad parents, aren’t there enough actual bad parents out there? If you’ve got it together, pat yourself on the back and celebrate it. Post a pic on social media. It’s a big deal when we have those parenting wins. But on the days when you don’t have your crap together, it’s ok to share that too. We share both because it’s helpful for the moms around us to not feel alone. We should be able to celebrate each other’s wins as much as we “celebrate” each other’s parenting fails.

No More Mediocracy

Let’s end the movement of mediocracy now. The last thing we want is a motherhood slippery slope that turns into a “thing”. Put a stop to hot mess mom culture. It’s ok to be a hot mess one week and have it all together the next week. But if we keep pretending we are a hot mess when we are not then we are perpetuating the problem with hot mess mom culture. Let’s let go of perfectionism but let’s also not celebrate apathy and actual crappy parenting.

Set The Example

I’m sharing all of this from the lens of a mom of 2 young adult kids. Parenting is challenging, no matter how old your kids are. There is not a stage of motherhood that is harder or easier. It’s what we make it. Motherhood is not one sided. Our parenting fails may be good for a laugh but let’s not leave out our successes. Let’s celebrate those. We are setting the example for our kids, it’s ok to talk about he failures but let’s take the time to celebrate the victories.

Start A Revolution

I want to see a revolution where moms feel safe being themselves. If you are reading this, it’s likely you are not a truly bad parent, so stop acting like one and step up to the plate. At the end of the day we all want the same thing, we want to raise happy, healthy kids. We want to have happy and healthy relationships with them too. Let’s model what it looks like to be ok with failing but also succeeding. Here’s to you mom, keep up the good work. For more tips and pep talks, subscribe to my Youtube channel.  

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